> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://it-can-only-get-stranger.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Alex Alex: Why do I keep dreaming about my ex? - URL: https://it-can-only-get-stranger.ghost.io/alex-alex-why-do-i-keep-dreaming-about-my-ex/ - Published: 2026-09-27T03:43:46.000Z - Updated: 2026-09-27T04:04:00.000Z - Author: Alex Steed "Why do I keep dreaming of my ex? It’s been years, our relationship was great while it lasted but ended when it should have, the heartache is barely a remnant, and he’s still a recurring character…" — Anonymous Long story short: Your dream ex is not your actual ex. Probably. Unless it is, and then that's a whole different story. I hope this helps. [](https://t.co/KjLtDxVJNq?ref=it-can-only-get-stranger.ghost.io) Long story long: First, we need to get to the bottom of what dreams are. In the dreams department, I'm more of a Jung guy than a Freud guy. Very early on in the development of psychoanalysis, Freud decided that dreams are where our repressed drives retreat to and find representative meaning. It's where things that can't live in the conscious mind come up to play, as it were. Dreams, for Freud, are a kind of wish fulfillment. The imagery of dreams could then be harvested to understand the unconscious. Jung comes along later and says the dream is a "spontaneous self-portrayal, in symbolic form, of the actual situation in the unconscious." Basically, a dream is exactly where we're at. It's us in our most naked form. But things are represented symbolically rather than literally. It's possible the dream guides us toward solutions, or suggests how problems could be remedied in ways we can't manage in our waking lives. It could be read for indications about how to heal. Jung said he had no specific dream theory. But he did hold two ideas. One is that dreams are a spontaneous self-representation of the situation of the psyche. In other words, what's really going on in the psyche at any moment, unclouded. The other is that the dream compensates for the conscious attitude. Again, things in dreams are symbolic. Some of these symbols are archetypal. That means they represent things with meanings that go beyond us as individuals. They aren't restricted to the dreamer's personal context. One interesting note here. There's been all sorts of empirical dream research since these theories came out regarding the different types of dreams and the story arches they typically follow. There are a number of fascinating tests that have been developed to better understand the symbols and what they may be doing. And there are approaches to analysis that take everything we actually do know about the symbols and build a methodology for analyzing them. Regardless, what are dreams and what are they for is still a question that doesn’t have a definite answer. And dream interpretation remains broadly subjective. So I think it's very likely that your ex, as they appear in your dream, is not actually your ex. The actions in dreams are seldom to be taken literally. You could be replaying or re-understanding something that happened at that time. Or, while your ex isn't an archetypal character themselves, they could represent a specific archetype. It could be worth [looking through the archetypes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jungian%5Farchetypes?ref=it-can-only-get-stranger.ghost.io) to see what your ex, as you understand them, might represent. They could also stand for a specific period of time and the feelings that came with it. They could represent how we imagine ourselves in relation to other people. Or a number of other things. All of this is to say that it's often not ideal to take the symbols in our dreams literally. Instead, ask: What is this likely a stand-in for, with regard to what my consciousness is experiencing? What truth might this be telling within my psyche that I'm not fully aware of? Also, look at it in context of your current experience. A dream about being trapped in an out of control car can have much different meaning when, say, we’re having a turbulent week at work as opposed to when things are smooth sailing. Where are you at right now, and what might whatever your ex represents be speaking to regarding all that? For what it's worth, I don't think this means you wanna fuck your ex or get back together with them, in case that's at all muddled. (Unless you do, and in that case we're talking about something else altogether. It doesn't imply that you should get in touch if getting in touch doesn't make sense. Sometimes it's an indication that some unresolved things are still working through in your head. Or that feelings, ideas, or concepts represented by your ex are still being processed. They may have nothing to do with the ex in question. They may have to do with things that person reminds you of. I know this is moderately vague, but I hope it's reassuring in some way. — Submit your own questions [anonymously](https://ngl.link/alexsteed2?ref=it-can-only-get-stranger.ghost.io) or email them to alexsteed at gmail dot com